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Saturday, November 18, 2017

1970 Japanese Lingerie Advertisement

What we have here, is, if you can believe it, a failure to communicate.

I recently fell down the rabbit hole looking for Alice when I came upon the magazine advertisement pictured above.

It’s a 1970 advertisement featuring a very sexy Japanese woman, which caught my eye… 1970… certainly… quite the radical shift from how companies were portraying the women of Japan in advertisements just a few years earlier… all done up in hard-to-unwrap kimono.

The plural of kimono is kimono…. like it would be for everything in Japan of which there is a multiple. There is no plural form. You could say there are many kimono, or there are 12 kimono… but it’s never there anything like six kimonos. Or tsunamis… just tsunami.

Anyhow… va-va-voom! When I think about Japanese woman, its the form above that is more realistic than the one of the tightly wound kimono-wearing woman.

Yes, I’m sure every woman in Japan has worn a kimono and probably owns at least one, but it’s nowadays just worn for special occasions.

But the Triumph ad above… well… despite what everyone on Pinterest or Tumblr or elsewhere on the Internet has to say, this is not a Triumph automobile advertisement.

I could tell, because I compared the company's crown logo with the car manufacturer's...  

This is a Triumph International the UK lingerie company, showing off, in this 1970 advertisement its wonderful sheer… what the fug is it… some sort of chemise or a negligee? Is it a babydoll? I don’t think it’s a baby doll because it doesn’t seem “flowing” at the base.

Actually, I think it is a Triumph Bra Slip.

I’m looking, but that bra ain’t slipping… but I get it.

Anyhow… I would imagine that even by the standards of the sexist 1970s, this ad, much like this blog today, is rife with sexism. But I'm using it ironically.

First off - a fine looking, if rather unspectacular product. Yeah it hugs the boobs. It comes in white.

In Japan, the Japanese love the color white, because it shows a purity of the soul... uh-huh. I hope that wasn't why they chose a white garment here... read on...

It’s night clothing undergarments… so we can be sure it’s not simply for sleeping… as evidenced by the fact that the other image in the advertisement shows a woman (I can’t tell if it’s the same Japanese model), sitting down, with a “gentleman” on her left, and another approaching so her face is crotch high on her right.

One woman. Two men. An advertisement for a sexy evening undergarment.

We’re talking MMF here. A threesome. Male-Male-Female.

I’m just throwing this out there, but in most occasions where a threesome exists - whether its a FFM or a MMF, if at least one of the F’s looks like our model, there ain’t no way that undergarment is going to ever be wearable again - torn to shreds in the hurry to get off, I mean get it off.

I’m assuming that things are going to be a bit rough here for our F.

What’s that around her right wrist? A chain.

Is she merely a slave to fashion, or to the men who want to take or give issue with her.

Now, the chain isn't locked... it's wrapped... implying she could remove herself from its bind at anytime she pleases. 

What’s that between her legs? A box? You know what I mean… I mean on the rocks below and between her open legged stance.

Forget the box… is that more chain? Is she standing on it, showing that she is able to throw of the shackles of her oppression… that she gives as well as she gets?

"I am woman, hear me roar, in my sexy new bra slip from Triumph. It's sexy enough to take on all comers."

It's probably just as well that I don't write copy for an advertising agency - even though I could do it, and do it very well.

Whatever… even if I had the translation of the words on the ad, I assume that all Japanese ads are simply weird anyway… and it is 1970… and while it doesn’t excuse it, it at least explains it.

Triumph International is still a top-level lingerie producer - one of the tops on the planet… and shop, began as a corset factory in southern Germany back in 1886, and continues to this day with a presence in over 120 countries selling its lingerie and underwear, of which I am pretty sure I have crumpled into a wadded ball in the corner of some darkened room at some point in time.

Andrew "create obvious pun about triumphing over whatever" Joseph 

Friday, November 17, 2017

It’s Official: Japanese More Apologetic Than Canadians

To quote my friend Julien, with the Japanese now proving that they are more apologetic than Canadians, “it is throwing everything off track.”

Pun intended by Julien, apparently the management of the Tsukuba Express line apologized to everyone after its scheduled train left 20 seconds early.

The express line train running between Tokyo and Tsukuba City  was scheduled to leave Minami Nagereyama Station (just north of Tokyo) at 9:44:40AM… but instead left at 9:44:20… 20 terrible seconds earlier.

While the early departure does not appear to have affected any customers—at least no one complained about it—the train line was sufficiently embarrassed by their obvious incompetence.

In their official statement, the company says: “The crew did not sufficiently check the departure time and performed the departure operation.”

Perhaps the crew was asked to do penance by performing seppuka - ritualistic suicide by personal disembowelment while a second lops off your head from behind.

It only seems fair.

Now… the statement does mention that the train crew main not have performed the departure operation.

That might be more serious… perhaps they failed to look out on the station to check for straggling passengers… or maybe they failed to cry out that the train was about to depart… things that might have taken the necessary 20 seconds.

While those types of things—I’m not saying that was what the problem was—could cause a customer to be miss the train because they failed to understand it was about to leave… or, for passengers already aboard, without the warning, someone could have been jerked off their feet when the train “suddenly” started up.

I know the trains are pretty smooth… but who knows.

I assume that the vocal commands aboard the train are performed automatically - perhaps by a touch of a button… or… they are timed… and if the train left prematurely, that may be why warning messages were not conveyed.

I’m just offering an explanation as to why the train company believes that leaving 20 seconds early is a serious breach of conduct.

If I’m wrong, I apologize for misleading anyone.

It’s not the same as a 20-second EARLY apology, but then again, we Canadians aren’t No. 1 anymore.

Sorry about that,
Andrew Joseph 
PS: Where are my manners? It appears the shock of no longer being No. 1 has caused me to step in No. 2. Thank-you, Julien, for the heads up on this story.


Thursday, November 16, 2017

Japanese Mathematics Trick

I'm pretty dumb at math, which is probably why I am a writer.

However, the Japanese seem to have this neat trick for quickly, and correctly solving two or three digit number multiplication.

I'm not talking about 2 x 3 x 4 = buggered if I know,

But I am talking about 123 x 321 = 39483.

Granted we adults would probably just try and find a calculator, or maybe those of you smarter than me might try and input it onto an on-line calculator, or still other young ones might simply just copy and paste the equation into the search engine as it will promptly throw the answer out for you at your computer's calculator.

But, for those you you who are still in school, where you aren't allowed to use a calculator or use anything digital—and have to show your work—the Japanese have a neat mathematical trick to solve any number of multiplication.

It's how to multiply using lines:

I admit that I still don't get it... I'm probably the only Brown guy who can't do math... but maybe many of you will.

Maybe you could explain it to me?

Andrew Joseph


Wednesday, November 15, 2017

Sumo Wrestler Causes HUGE Sumo Scandal

Personally, I don’t see what the big deal is.

Sumo Grand Champion Harumafuji has smashed a beer bottle on the head of another wrestler.

We used to see such things back when the WWE was the WWF and even before that became big on such fare as Maple Leaf Wrestling or Stampede Wrestling here in Canada.

Wait… Harumafuji wasn’t in the ring?

And this is sumo wrestling… not real wrestling… er, sports entertainment wrestling? Oh.

I still don’t see what the big deal is.

Reports are sketchy as to where and why… but Harumafuji has publicly apologized for his actions, so we can assume it did happen.

The where is important.

If the two sumo wrestlers were out at a restaurant, or sitting at the lunch table eating one of their many daily meals of chanko (stew), had an argument and then Harumafuji picked up a beer bottle and smashed it over the other’s head… well, that’s bad, but not as bad as…

If the two were in the training area, had an argument, and Harumafuji got so mad he waddled over to the kitchen to grab a brewski, waddled back to the training area and then waddled after the unnamed sumo wrestler before whacking him over the head. That’s worse.

Also… did Haraumafuji break the bottle over the other wrestler’s actual head, or smash it across his face?

Did he smash the bottle on a something and come at him with the jagged edges?

Did Harumafuji hit him on the head by creeping up on him from behind, or manning up to smash him face-to-face?

And why did he need to hit him with a beer bottle? Truth be told, a high-ranking sumo wrestler’s palms are as hard as stone, and being slapped is like being hit by a cement mixer truck… so maybe the beer bottle was ‘softer’.

What size beer bottle? Those huge ones they have for parties, or the smaller ones for personal usage?

What brand of beer was it? Someone is missing out on a great advertising campaign!
A thirst for mayhem and murder...
What was the name of the poor lower-level sumo wrestler who had to clean up the spilled beer?

Did the other sumo wrestler have to go to the hospital? Did Harumafuji get arrested for assault? Why not?

If not, why is the story even a media story?

Is all forgiven? Will Harumafuji face disciplinary action for embarrassing the Japan Sumo Association (JSA)?

Will Harumafuji’ stable bosses have to commit seppuka (ritualistic suicide by disembowelment and head lopping) for having embarrassed the stable, the JSA, Donald Trump and the Japanese people?

How is this Kim Jong-un’s fault? How is it not?

As you can see, I have lots of questions… some of which are legitimate.

Okay, stupidity aside—mine that is—let's look at the stupidity of Harumafuji.

An artist's rendition of what the sumo fight looked like. Stoopid artist. The victim should have eyes, not a blanked out brown box. And it was beer, no sochu (sake). Okay... I'm just kidding around...
 Just the facts.

Harumafuji, a yokozunasumo’s highest rank, that one is elected to, is a 33-year-old Mongolian born as Davaanyam Byambadorj.

At a recent party for sumo wrestlers of Mongolian decent, Harumafuji did indeed smash a beer bottle over the head of sumo wrestler Takanoiwa, 27, hurting him badly enough to leave him hospitalized with a fractured skull.

While Harumafuji refused to give details of the event, he did speak to reporters saying: "I sincerely apologize for causing trouble."

The JSA did speak out about the incident, punishing Harumafuji with a suspension from the upcoming 15-day sumo event in Fukuoka.

On November 14, (yesterday), Harumafuji was to have visited the stable where Takanoiwa trains, to offer a personal apology.

Actually, he is apologizing to the stable, NOT providing a personal apology to Takanoiwa, who is hospitalized still.

Of course, since sumo in Japan is akin to hockey in Canada, the media is having a field day with the real-life sumo beer bash.

Sumo’s yokozuna rank are supposed to be above reproach.

They are the heroes of Japan. They are supposed to be the best of the best, and the best-behaved for the honor of the sport,m and of the Japanese nation. 

While unsaid, I’m betting it is noted that such horribly violent behavior in a yokozuna might be because Harumafuji is Mongolian and not Japanese… again… unsaid… at least in polite circles.

Debuting in sumo in 2001, Harumafuji was promoted to the rank of yokozuna in 2012. There are six tournaments a year, and Harumafuji has won a total of nine, winning last September’s tourney.  

The incident is the latest scandal to rock the sport of sumo in recent years following investigations into hazing and match-fixing.

In 2010, then-yokozuna Asashoryu, also from Mongolia, retired from the sport after allegations he had attacked a man outside a Tokyo nightclub during a tournament.

Maybe it’s because I was a gaijin, too, but my favorite o-zumo was the great Musahimaru. I saw his first prime time match, and quickly concluded that one day he would become a yokozuna, because he was essentially built like a square block of marble.

When I met him in my hometown of Ohtawara-shi, Tochigi-ken, I told him as much, and much smiles, hand grasping and “Yeah, brah” were uttered. You can read the full story of my encounter with Musashimaru HERE.

A photo of the soon-to-be yokozuna Musashimaru that I took when we met in Ohtawara-shi, Tochigi-ken.

He was the very first non-Japanese yokozuna.

Now, after Asashoryu being forced to retire, and Harumafuji’s violence, maybe I should point out that it’s not all gaijin who are trouble.

Mushashimaru is from America Samoa… the others are from Mongolia.

I’m not saying all Mongolians are trouble, but you can bet someone is.

Anyhow, while Musahimaru won a total of 12 championships over his career (with epic battles against Taknohana and Wakanohana and the first gaijin great the ozeki-ranked Konishiki - man those were all great battles), I should point out that Asashoryu was one of the best yokozuna ever.

Asashoryu ended up with a total of 25 championships - fourth on the all-time list.

I do miss watching sumo.
Andrew Joseph
PS: Usually, all the photos I place in this blog are "Large"... but today, it's "Extra-Large".

Tuesday, November 14, 2017

Japanese Researchers Say There Was Only 13% Chance Of Dinosaur Extinction

Talk about unlucky.

While it is largely acknowledged by scientists, that a large asteroid strike about 66 million years ago is responsible for wiping out the dinosaurs so we human beings could have oil, a team of researchers from Japan's Tohoku University have determined that there was only a 13% chance of the asteroid causing the extinction of the dinosaurs, and an 87% chance that they should have survived the global catastrophe.

The researchers say that if the asteroid had struck virtually anywhere else on Earth other than where the 10 km (6.2 mile) wide rock smashed into what is now the Yucatan Peninsula, Mexico—the dinosaurs would have survived, but probably would not have oil to warm their houses.

You can tell which parts I am adding, right?

Earth (flattened out) 66 million years ago. That red dot is Utah, but where Mexico is... that's where the Yucatan asteroid strike was.
While an asteroid strike anywhere would still have meant the complete and utter destruction of any dinosaur nearby, it need not have meant the downfall of dinosaurs....

In the Yucatan strike, vaporized rock and soot was ejected into the atmosphere in huge amounts, blocking out sunlight, causing a nuclear winter effect, disrupting photosynthesis and triggering the collapse of the food chain.

The Tohoku University researchers have theorized that the severity of the climate changes would vary depending on where the asteroid hit.

For example, if it hit in an area where there is a larger amount of sedimentary organic material, it would have thrown up more soot into the stratosphere, cooling the Earth quicker than if it hit in places with lower hydrocarbon concentrations.

To test the idea, the researchers used a global climate model to estimate the temperature anomalies that would be caused by different levels of soot in the stratosphere.

Based on the hydrocarbon-rich rock at the impact site, the test showed that soot thrown into the atmosphere would cool the Earth by eight to 11° C (14 to 20° F) on average, with a drop as drastic as 17° C (31° F) over land and five to 7° C (9 to 13 F) in the seawater, to a depth of 50 m (164 ft).

Also, rainfall over land would have dropped by 70 to 85 percent.

Add it up, and goodbye all life on Earth (maybe).

The Tohoku team then looked at how widespread these hydrocarbon-rich areas would have been at the time. The researchers found that they were mostly marine coastal margins, concentrated along shorelines where algae could deposit more organic matter into the sediment. These areas, the team found, covered just 13 percent of the Earth's surface.

As such, if the asteroid had struck any place other than the 13 percent where there's a hydrocarbon-rich area... IE that 87 percent of the planet,  the dinosaurs would more than likely had survived.

The researchers aren't saying that it still wouldn't have been a catastrophic event - it would have been... and yes, many species of life at that time would still have found the news levels of temperature unacceptable for survival...

Who's to say if all of the prey of the carnivores dies, then what's a poor meat eater to do? Die.

The research was published in the journal Scientific Reports.

Andrew "wishes he was a paleontologist" Joseph
PS: At one point in my life - probably like most kids - I wanted to hunt for dinosaurs. But at some point in time in late high school and university, I forgot... and I lost out.
I still buy books on dinosaurs (and space)...

Monday, November 13, 2017

The Japanese Bat-Tank

When it comes to weird toys, I would think that Japan takes the cake.

I don't really have much evidence to back up that claim, but what the heck... here's a 1960s-era Batman toy for the Japanese market: Bat-Tank.

I don't know if it's weird or not... Batman COULD have a tank... afterall, he's just a weird rich guy who dresses up in a Bat suit to combat crime because he saw his parents gunned down when he was a child.

It looks like tin toy... and hopefully it makes a noise when it moves (a push car)...

Okay... I stand corrected... this isn't a good example of Japanese weird toys, but is instead another fine example of greed in Andrew.

I want one.

Andrew Joseph 

Sunday, November 12, 2017

1960s Japanese Batman Pachinko Game

Back in 1967, Japan went crazy for all-things Batman, thanks to the self-titled U.S. Batman television show being shown there.

Along with comic books, and record-picture books, and Bat-toys galore, there was this cute "pachinko" game.

What we have are the game itself - above... and the outer cover of the game box below.

Robin: "Batman! Whaddaya think about the new paint job I had done for the Batmobile? Bitchin'! By the way... I'm too young to drive!"

Andrew Joseph